Lessons I Wish I Hadn't Had to Learn & Other Musings

Wow, it's been so long since I've been here that it took me a while to find  my blog and then to figure out how to sign in and post to it.

Lessons I wish I hadn't had to learn -
 1.  If I sit at just the right spot on my toilet and lean back, I will pee between the rim and the seat.  I will not know that I am doing this until I get up and find myself standing in a puddle of pee.
 2.  Larry the Cable Guy's joke about his grandmother being kicked out the the Bass Pro Shop because the clerks at store thought she was stealing duck calls and stink bait sometimes is not so far off the truth.  For about a month, I embodied his grandma.  I turned into a a real fart machine.  I would go outside and smoke at work just so I could pass gas.  Every time I bent over, or stood up, or made some other move, there I'd go.  Thank goodness it finally went away.  I have no idea why it came or went when it did.  I'm just glad it's gone.

Other musings -
The other night I dreamed that I was involved in some sort of alligator capture.  There were two guys trying to capture the gator, but they were unsuccessful.  After they walked away, I pinned it down with a shepherd's hook (pool safety equipment kind) and started yelling for the guys to come back.  They didn't appear, but Troy Landry showed up in his striped shirt and baseball cap!