Looking for a Normal Life

I took the day off yesterday. Yes, I know, that sounds funny. I'm not working, so how can I take a day off? A day off from what? I took a day off from posting to my blog, making plans, going out, and being productive. I stayed at home in my pajamas and cooked cabbage rolls and black-eyed peas, watched some TV, played some computer games and took frequent, yet very short naps. I don’t think yesterday was either an early warning sign or a sign that things are breaking down. I didn't feel like I was hiding out, avoiding people. My house did not feel like a safe haven from the world. I was not anxious. I didn't compulsively watch TV or play computer games. It did not feel like an unhealthy day; it felt like a normal day. Time will tell the tale, however. If I stay focused and stay on track from here on out, then it was okay. If I see signs that I am not on track, then it was not a good day.
I set some goals for myself for the next six months – get a job, get a room mate, lose 50 pounds, eat healthy, work out at least 3 days a week, socialize at least once a week, and attend church weekly. If I eat healthy and work out at least 3 days a week, then losing 50 pounds will take care of itself. Listing the weight loss goal is a kind of twofer. First, it will keep me honest about eating healthy and working out. Second, it will give me something to check off my list as complete at the end of six months. This morning I weighed 279 pounds. I’ll post my weight every Saturday, and everyone will get to see my progress. In the meantime, my eating plan is twofold. (Hmmm – the number two keeps coming up.) One, eat healthy foods. Two, be mindful of every bite. That’s it. It’s a simple plan.

As I begin to build a life for myself, I’ve been thinking about what that life should look like. What will make my life meaningful and satisfying? I haven’t fully answered this question yet, but I am working on it. I will share my thoughts later. They are still half-formed and require some organizing.

In the meantime, I have a to-do list for today. Daylight’s burning, and time’s a-wasting. Hope you have a great day!

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.  ~~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin